Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Number 1 on my list
Why do we live in a world that is so fixated on lists and ranking things? We number everything. There's the first dance, first kiss, number one movie, most popular in school, best school, best neighborhood, and so on.
Is it possible to believe that adoption can be someones first choice?, instead of believing that a couple MUST be infertile, and therefore adoption must be a second choice?.Because clearly ( being sarcastic here), biological children would be first choice, followed by children that "look like your family", third choice would be children from the same country,and finally if you just have to have children the last resort would be to adopt from another country. This is crazy really, why can't people let other people live their lives the way that they choose, no matter what that choice is.
People are funny when it comes to accepting/thinking of adoption as a family choice. They say things like "don't worry, as soon as you adopt you'll get pregnant and then you'll have two babies!"(because clearly two is better than one)or they say "If you think you can have your own, why would you adopt?"(because clearly my adopted child won't be my "own")
I think we need to be proud of wanting to be parents, and choosing to be parents, instead of focusing on the way we become parents. Deciding to adopt a baby is about choosing to start a family, it's not about being infertile and choosing the "second best" option.
Is it possible to believe that adoption can be someones first choice?, instead of believing that a couple MUST be infertile, and therefore adoption must be a second choice?.Because clearly ( being sarcastic here), biological children would be first choice, followed by children that "look like your family", third choice would be children from the same country,and finally if you just have to have children the last resort would be to adopt from another country. This is crazy really, why can't people let other people live their lives the way that they choose, no matter what that choice is.
People are funny when it comes to accepting/thinking of adoption as a family choice. They say things like "don't worry, as soon as you adopt you'll get pregnant and then you'll have two babies!"(because clearly two is better than one)or they say "If you think you can have your own, why would you adopt?"(because clearly my adopted child won't be my "own")
I think we need to be proud of wanting to be parents, and choosing to be parents, instead of focusing on the way we become parents. Deciding to adopt a baby is about choosing to start a family, it's not about being infertile and choosing the "second best" option.
Friday, January 26, 2007
Our moving day
Where to start.... let's just say moving day was pure CHAOS. First off we spent two hours at the lawyers office, followed by three hours in the emergency department at the hospital. Gavin cut his finger after we moved the first item onto the moving truck,figures. Then, we had a flat tire on our van (the same tire that has had two previous flats) and had to call CAA. We finally loaded the moving truck & van by 1am.
That was Wednesday.
Thursday my mom came over to help clean our old house for the new owners (thanks mom),and Gavin and I went for our "pre delivery inspection" on our new house. Now usually the PDI would be done a week before you move in, so that they have time to fix the minor screw ups, our PDI was scheduled for move in day morning.
First thing wrong, they put laminate in the kitchen when it was to be tile, the same tile we've been fighting over for months. Then, they put the wrong tiles on the bathroom floors, therby making the floors not match with the tiles around the tub.
Also, they claim that the cabinets are "backordered" and it will be at least a couple of weeks until we have a kitchen, or bathroom vanitys. Not to worry we have the most ugly, temporary kitchen and bathroom sink and counters. So all in all our new home is "live in ready".
They started to fix the floors on Friday, they finished the kitchen by Saturday, and started on the bathrooms upstairs. The tile guys tiled over the old tile ( which apparently is alright from a tiling point) however, the toilets and our fake vanity wouldn't fit back in the room properly. The home builder decides it to be best to have the tile guys come back and tear out all the tile and start again. The tile was finally finished and toilets back in place yesterday.
Next problem,the phone and cable company were late arriving (a day late for the cable guy), it seems that even though you give directions to these people, because you are in a new subdivision they can't find your house. Then the appliance people went to the old address, even though I called twice, with directions to confirm delivery to the new address. Then, our new gas stove didn't work,and we have to eat out, or eat really crappy microwave dinners until someone can come to fix it. The appliance repair guy gave me a two hour window of when he'd be there to fix the stove,between 2 & 4 he said. He came by after 7pm, can you say "IDIOT".
Oh and to top it off, our computer has viruses making it very difficult for me to blog!
Nothing new adoption related, we're just waiting. The only good thing about all of the moving day chaos is that it took my mind off of the baby for a few days. But, my mind is back on baby now!
That was Wednesday.
Thursday my mom came over to help clean our old house for the new owners (thanks mom),and Gavin and I went for our "pre delivery inspection" on our new house. Now usually the PDI would be done a week before you move in, so that they have time to fix the minor screw ups, our PDI was scheduled for move in day morning.
First thing wrong, they put laminate in the kitchen when it was to be tile, the same tile we've been fighting over for months. Then, they put the wrong tiles on the bathroom floors, therby making the floors not match with the tiles around the tub.
Also, they claim that the cabinets are "backordered" and it will be at least a couple of weeks until we have a kitchen, or bathroom vanitys. Not to worry we have the most ugly, temporary kitchen and bathroom sink and counters. So all in all our new home is "live in ready".
They started to fix the floors on Friday, they finished the kitchen by Saturday, and started on the bathrooms upstairs. The tile guys tiled over the old tile ( which apparently is alright from a tiling point) however, the toilets and our fake vanity wouldn't fit back in the room properly. The home builder decides it to be best to have the tile guys come back and tear out all the tile and start again. The tile was finally finished and toilets back in place yesterday.
Next problem,the phone and cable company were late arriving (a day late for the cable guy), it seems that even though you give directions to these people, because you are in a new subdivision they can't find your house. Then the appliance people went to the old address, even though I called twice, with directions to confirm delivery to the new address. Then, our new gas stove didn't work,and we have to eat out, or eat really crappy microwave dinners until someone can come to fix it. The appliance repair guy gave me a two hour window of when he'd be there to fix the stove,between 2 & 4 he said. He came by after 7pm, can you say "IDIOT".
Oh and to top it off, our computer has viruses making it very difficult for me to blog!
Nothing new adoption related, we're just waiting. The only good thing about all of the moving day chaos is that it took my mind off of the baby for a few days. But, my mind is back on baby now!
Friday, January 12, 2007
Math stinks!
INCREASE IN FAMILIES WAITING + DECREASE IN BABIES = LONGER WAIT TO REFERRAL all of this = CRAPPY no matter how you put it.
Average time to referral as estimated by our agency has increased from 6-9 months, to 9-12 months. However, I decided to clarify with our agency as to if they were calculating the wait from log in date, or from dtv,& to my surprise they are estimating from DTV. I should have asked this before, it's been weighing on my mind for a long time. Realistically I know we have a long wait ahead of us, like close to 9/10 months to referral, but at least it's not a year from today!
Those of you in the adoption world can appreciate the glimmer of hope this brings! I was beginning to feel like we were being tested, like someone was saying " are you sure you want to do this?... how about now?" almost haunting and taunting like, strange I know. But, this little glimmer of knowing we were waiting already is what I needed to keep going.
YEAH! for small victories!
Average time to referral as estimated by our agency has increased from 6-9 months, to 9-12 months. However, I decided to clarify with our agency as to if they were calculating the wait from log in date, or from dtv,& to my surprise they are estimating from DTV. I should have asked this before, it's been weighing on my mind for a long time. Realistically I know we have a long wait ahead of us, like close to 9/10 months to referral, but at least it's not a year from today!
Those of you in the adoption world can appreciate the glimmer of hope this brings! I was beginning to feel like we were being tested, like someone was saying " are you sure you want to do this?... how about now?" almost haunting and taunting like, strange I know. But, this little glimmer of knowing we were waiting already is what I needed to keep going.
YEAH! for small victories!
Saturday, January 06, 2007
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